I started having extreme technical difficulties with my old laptop and decided to replace it. Something went horribly, horribly awry and I lost my last revision which included several new sections when I transferred the documents. The old laptop is dead so I can't retrieve it.
Trying to bring back the energy and focus of lost work is much harder than finding that mental space in the first place. I couldn't get into the zone at all. I think a lot of it comes from I was analysing every paragraph - was this something that needed revision? What did I say? It's looks fine now, did I see something before which I am now missing?
At least I knew at what page that revision stopped, and I made myself so through that point in the manuscript. Hopefully I will feel more free as I continue this revision.
I always over judge my work - but who doesn't do that to themselves? It's just I have never had the level of self doubt as I did after this experience. Sections that I know I thought were good, now feel stilted to me.
I'll get over myself as I usually do. I have to - this is my dream. If I don't, then not only will I never achieve what I want, but I would have wasted the last 6 years of research and writing. I just can't let that happen.
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